I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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