yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
one might say we're banned from that church
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
