oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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