She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize