Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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