You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
