It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
