Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
this boner is exhausting
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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