i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
