oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
