Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
