Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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