We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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