my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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