I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
