I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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