We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
