we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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