The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
