Where is the hickey?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
