he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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