one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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