I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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