Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Who died my cat blue again?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
