So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
