We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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