my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
