hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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