watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
