Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you have to choose: penises or morals?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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