My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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