wanna go halves on a baby?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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