So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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