I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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