When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
