If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
