it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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