hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
