question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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