I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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