Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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