when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
