i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
