So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will be naked everywhere
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
