I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
