the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Church boner. Awkwardddd
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
