I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
