i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.