Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.