Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
