Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i think im in europe. pls send help
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
