I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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