you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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