Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
