If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
