So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
