Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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