You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
