hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
