It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
