There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
