I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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