thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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